9 Comments
User's avatar
Sherry Trentini's avatar

Speaking as a person who has IKEA family cards from three countries, I have in fact watched, with dëlight, this very pilgrimage. I am especially fond of the Dutch, who arrive at the behemoth store without a car to transport cöuchês, then magically balance it on the front or back of their bicycle, nestled between the three children they brought on the excursion.

Congratulations on your eventual success, I believe IKEA will be sending you a medal, which you will have to put together yourself, as your award!

Expand full comment
Zach Hively's avatar

Sherry, I imagine my self-assembled medal will have some screws loose, much like I do.

(Also, the way you've written "couches" has me pronouncing it in the most delightfully mish-mashed European way.)

Expand full comment
Sherry Trentini's avatar

😁😁

Expand full comment
Priscilla King's avatar

Well, my husband once inadvertently destroyed a bookshelf I had cherished for eighteen years. We went to Ikea. We looked at bookshelves. After determining that he was willing to buy and assemble heavy-duty Swedish birchwood bookshelves, I decided some cheap ones at Hechinger's would do.

Expand full comment
Zach Hively's avatar

That makes at least two relationships that have survived the long walk!

Expand full comment
Moorea Maguire's avatar

New Mexico! I lived in Cruces for a few years. Come to think of it, no, I don't remember an Ikea there. 😁

Expand full comment
Zach Hively's avatar

I should think not! But I am surprised to find, upon Googling, that there is also not one in El Paso. The world is a wonky place.

Expand full comment
Beep beep's avatar

Beloved. My dearest man who cannot ever pick the correct size Tupperware for the leftovers at hand, which scales clearly to the couch-car-container picking: you left out that I was accompanying the car in a "loading zone only, no parking" spot. 💖 Should the car have decided it needed some alone time, I wanted to be there to plead with it for mercy.

Mërcy even.

Expand full comment
Zach Hively's avatar

I couldn't do most anything without yøü.

Expand full comment